On 'Highs' & 'Lows'

I was at a recent gathering with some dear friends… and we got down to sharing the ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ that we were experiencing.

But while we used to do this habitually as a group, the exercise this time caused me to pause. Because earlier last month, as I was celebrating my birthday, I was reflecting a lot about the ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ in my life.

I found it difficult to identify some ‘highs’ as highs and some ‘lows’ as lows. And I got that there are no highs and lows for me. Simply, there are only times when I understood what was happening, what God was allowing, and how He was allowing some things to work for my good. And there were times when I did not understand, when I did not believe that God would allow some things to happen for my good.

Sai Weng Shi Ma (塞翁失马), Yan Zhi Fei Fu (焉知非福).

There is this Chinese expression that very elegantly summarizes a parable — in which through several twists of fate, a man realizes that it’s nearly impossible to conclude that what appears to be a calamity, is not actually a blessing in disguise.

It is too soon to tell…

Proverbs 4:7 — Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

Everything is too soon to tell.

But we can understand, if we allow ourselves to be still, and listen.

And that is why the proverb says, “in all your getting, get understanding”.

Our life seems like a quest to know, and to be known. We seek to know our limits, our full potential, ourselves. And therefore, there is an existential angst when we experience a gap between what we see that we have achieved, and what we inwardly believe that we can achieve.

We seek attention from friends, strangers, the world, because we have a desire to be known. That could explain why ‘social media’ can be so ‘addictive’. And if we are misunderstood, or when we misunderstand a loved one, we experience an angst that is hard to explain.

Is it not enough that the God of the Universe knows us, and is known to us?

Yes, but sometimes we want to validate that with others. This is us, in an earthly body, seeking validation in this dimension in which we experience life. Therefore, some of the most profound, pleasurable, cathartic moments… moments that bring us relief… are moments we experience being known and acknowledged by others. Sometimes we call it ‘being listened to’, and it happens when someone is ‘being present’ with us.

We don't just know their names, their faces, their jobs, what they do, what they're good at, but all of that and more, all of that in the context of who they are, who they truly are. There is no hiding, no need to hide, no nakedness, no shame in nakedness.

And that's why we need friends. We experience in a group, what is sometimes hard to experience alone — knowing and being known.

And that's why we build communities — to know one another, to be known by one another, and to know the God of the Universe, to make known to one another — the God of the Universe.

Writing A Book. This Book.

I’ve long aspired to write a book...

When I was professional marketer — building ‘influence-agencies’ at the dawn of ‘Web 2.0’ and later, ‘Social Media’ — I wanted to write a book titled: Omnifluence. I ended up starting an agency by the name, and dropped the book idea. 

I also have an unfinished project with my children — The Alphabet Stories. But they (my kids) learned the letters of the alphabet far more quickly then I invented stories about each. And so the project remains shelved — unless a children’s book publisher comes knocking, or unless a third child does. And I know too well what the odds are. 

But now, I have a book project that I hope to complete. And I’m looking for ways — hacks — to sustain my interest, and to demand my focus. It’s a book for my children (plus, my wife and I) and because there’s no ‘external’ source of pressure — I’ll need to engineer my own. 

Thankfully, I don’t lack content for my chapters. After 5 years of meditation, journaling, and the practice of ‘mindfulness’, I have enough material to start. 

And so I’m experimenting with this — a ‘fake’ book cover to help me visualize the goal, and a published blog so I can be publicly shamed if the ‘last post’ is dated over a month back. 

Here goes...

Being Observed (Introduction)

For a number of years now — through discourse on philosophy, the practice of meditation, and the contemplation of wide-ranging future technologies — I’ve wondered about what it means to be human.

Who am I? Am I body, mind, soul, spirit? And if I am all of that, then who is saying this? What is this ‘life’ in which I exist? What is real? What is Truth, and what isn’t? What is this language that I — presuming I know who I am — use to even think, and question existence? I know it gives me freedom of expression, but does it also hold me captive to something else? What causes suffering? What is our original design? And over and over again, who am I really?

I have come to realize — that the single cause of our greatest (and perhaps, only) suffering, comes from the lack of understanding... of ‘being’. Not the absence of understanding — for we all have some, but the lack of — for we have much left to understand.

In our language (English), ‘Being’ is defined as “the nature or essence of a person”. I believe that it is the lack of understanding of our very true nature, and our essence — that causes all the suffering we experience.

I will not be presumptuous to claim having understood. Instead, I seek to continually pursue understanding. I have not experienced that seemingly lofty state that is described by both philosophers and religious teachers as — ‘the end of suffering’; but I have experienced how suffering (and this includes both anguish and anxiety) ends when understanding begins. 

I believe that someday, I will no longer be able to write as I am writing now — in a manner that my children will be able to understand. It will not be when my life ends, but rather, it will be when I — my very essence — will transcend a material existence, the constraints of a physical body that started out dying, and the influence of a brain that seemingly has a life of its own (a machine with a constant chatter, a constant stream of thoughts, and requiring disciplined taming). 

For that reason, I am writing a book — to leave behind my notes... my observations — of what it means to be human... to be (human being). My answers for all the questions I have — about this life, this existence in which we are... who we are, where we really come from, and where we are headed. And that’s why the title of this book will be — Being Observed.

I am also writing for mastery. Perhaps someday... someday during my material existence, I will truly experience ‘the end of suffering’. Or perhaps as long as I pursue understanding, I don’t have to.

“Get wisdom, get understanding... ... The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” — Proverb